Midlife Mastery Journal

Learning to live life on life’s terms is the great spiritual lesson of midlife: allowing us to transition from the adult attitude of self-willed self-determination to the more mature and realistic attitude of acceptance and trust.

‘Getting stuck’ at midlife means only that you’ve stopped believing in yourself, and have started down the road that’s been paved for you by those who have given up on themselves. Hope is a very fragile thing, and can be damaged or destroyed by trusting those who have already lost faith rather than paying attention to your own God-given destiny, purpose and value. Who you are and who you shall become can never depend on what others think of you.

You may still think that, when circumstances change drastically (like they do at midlife), reinventing yourself would seem to be a very wise thing to do. I say ‘seem to be’ because that’s all based on your set of assumptions. You assume that it’s possible to ‘reinvent’ yourself, and you further assume that you know how to do it.

I have come to believe that there are actually two types of fear. The one – healthy caution – provides us with the protection that we need against rash decision-making. There is another type of fear, however, that arises from insecurity and self-doubt.

Apart from outright physical and emotional abuse, I believe that many (if not all) relationships “on the rocks” could be healed under the right circumstances. From my perspective, the fact that this healing so often fails to take place could be an indication that one or both of the partners have stopped listening. Additionally, ceasing to listen indicates a spiritual problem.