Midlife Mastery Journal

Nostalgia the drug, when taken in too large a dose, can cause either a compulsive longing (when a return to the “good old days” becomes our fixation) or a sense of seething indignation (when we imagine the indignities and deprivations we once suffered), or both. When nostalgia in either of these forms becomes a way of life, particularly during the midlife transition, it can effectively lock the future in a stranglehold from which it cannot escape.

Just the fact of knowing what your emotional reactions to encountering change will most likely be (grief and fear), will also allow you to begin opening yourself up to the possibility of achieving an appreciation for the change process in your own life, and the rich rewards that are yours, if only you can train yourself (and your pesky emotions) to look beyond the momentary present discomfort to the growth experience that awaits you.

Although both adolescence and midlife involve a transformation that requires us to leave something behind, the losses involved in adolescence is masked with the opportunities to come, while the losses that come with midlife are heightened by our perception of the perceived decline that we will have to face.

The second hallmark of maturity is a life that is committed to the service of others. Directing our midlife transition from the dissatisfaction of a life lived for ourselves to a level of spiritual and ethical maturity and personal fulfillment just by daily prayer and meditation seems way too simple and easy a solution.

I’ve said all along that the midlife transition is essentially a spiritual one. It’s a transition from being externally-focused to becoming interiorly-focused. ‘Maturity’ in this perspective means shifting your focus from the superficial to the essential in your life.