Midlife Mastery Journal

I have come to believe that there are actually two types of fear. The one – healthy caution – provides us with the protection that we need against rash decision-making. There is another type of fear, however, that arises from insecurity and self-doubt.

Apart from outright physical and emotional abuse, I believe that many (if not all) relationships “on the rocks” could be healed under the right circumstances. From my perspective, the fact that this healing so often fails to take place could be an indication that one or both of the partners have stopped listening. Additionally, ceasing to listen indicates a spiritual problem.

Rather than focus on our ultimate destiny, leaving this world behind, our culture has chosen to replace a morbid fascination with death with a morbid fascination with rigidity and changelessness. Our obsession with youth and nostalgia for an imagined halcyon age in times gone by permeates not only our decision-making processes, but also the meaning we give to the world.

Stubbornly refusing to rethink the tactics that used to work so well, your focus shifts to making the pain stop. Where do you find your relief? Whatever you’ve adopted as your principal method of stress relief: that’s your drug of choice.

Although both adolescence and midlife involve a transformation that requires us to leave something behind, the losses involved in adolescence is masked with the opportunities to come, while the losses that come with midlife are heightened by our perception of the perceived decline that we will have to face.