Midlife Mastery Journal

The ‘Grandma’ and ‘Grandpa’ images from the last century are gone for good. In their place, we’re discovering that we ‘Boomers can become vibrant, ‘sexy sexagenarians,’ taking the intimacy and passion we experience in our relationships to levels we might never have expected. The recipe for relationship success during (and after) midlife is surprisingly simple.

So long as we’re stuck in the ‘me-centered’ universe of adulthood, challenges and adversity will continue to appear to us to be focused on us (because that’s where our unconscious focus lies, and that’s the perspective from which we view everything that happens around us).

You may still think that, when circumstances change drastically (like they do at midlife), reinventing yourself would seem to be a very wise thing to do. I say ‘seem to be’ because that’s all based on your set of assumptions. You assume that it’s possible to ‘reinvent’ yourself, and you further assume that you know how to do it.

You may find managing important duties and issues a real ego-boost, but by staying focused on the big deals and neglecting the little facets of your life — in your career, your relationships and your own personal health and well-being — you risk descending into crisis and losing it all. Success in life and love depends entirely on how well you pay attention to the humblest of details.

I have come to believe that there are actually two types of fear. The one – healthy caution – provides us with the protection that we need against rash decision-making. There is another type of fear, however, that arises from insecurity and self-doubt.